Vogue Knitting Hates You: Part II

Yesterday I started posting some patterns from the current Vogue Knitting catalog. These were patterns that made me want to take up a less psychotic hobby, like extreme macrame or cat collecting.

In Part I, we looked at the Futuristic Space Hooker collection. Here in Part 2, we’ll start with 1993’s sweetheart:

Gimme "sullen."

No, sullener. Like, "My parents won't let me go to the Nirvana concert so I'm going to glower and write on my shoes until death comes."

 

Perfect.

 

It may seem as though I’m picking on the models and not the patterns themselves. Let me fix that:

PIMP HAT

See? Adorable model doing the best she can to convince the kind of woman who knits as a hobby that she really needs a badass felted pimp hat in her wardrobe. (Note: She does. We all do.)

Meanwhile, this woman invites you to come to her house for tea made of grass and splinters:

Her house reeks of patchouli and feet, but the cats like it that way.

 

Van Gogh's expression really says it all.

 

And finally:

HELLO, PALM SPRINGS!

 

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