Vogue Knitting Hates You: Part IV

(Here are parts I, II, and III.)

So far, we’ve mostly looked at the women’s patterns in the Vogue Knitting Catalog of Mental Instability. That’s partly because, even though dudes are increasingly taking up the needles, knitting is still a mostly female-dominated hobby. So let’s hear it for men’s equal rights to devote hours of their lives to making something they will wear once and immediately regret:

MANOS: THE HANDS OF FUGLINESS

 

How to take a picture of a model wearing a stupendously ugly hat: Give him a random prop and have him make a face at something in the distance.

Case A:

“If I squint really hard, I can almost see my career in the distance.”

Case B:

He's about to start a rumble with a gang of crocheters.

 

As far as themes go, VK has covered space hookers and zombie flappers. Why not throw in a few pirates, just for good measure?

No, I'm not going to make a Seinfeld joke. I never liked that show.

 

It's possible the VK editors did, though.

 

And finally:

"You should see my big scarf!"

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