Episode 8: Progress, and the Reason Why There Hasn’t Been More of It

And Jamie Bamber.

Last weekend I threw a party. A lot of very cool people came, from all over the country, and seemed to have a pretty good time. I wore ridiculously improbable shoes, started drinking before I ate, and probably embarrassed myself in front of my future in-laws. I don’t really mind, though, because I had the kind of good time that completely rocked my face off.

The skirt is about 13 inches away from completion, minus the train that I think I’m going to attempt to make. I keep saying it’s almost done, and I have these short stubby legs that end abruptly right around where a normal person would have calves so that helps, but as you can see the skirt’s going to take a few more days and a lot more wine. (The wine may seem to be counterproductive, but it’s actually like an energy drink for crafters. Until suddenly you find yourself yelling at Battlestar Galactica “THAT WAS SUPER LAME, SHOW” when it fakes out the death of a main character again, and you realize that knitting time is over.)

I tried to think of the engagement party as a practice run for the wedding, and I learned a great deal that I will probably forget in the next two years. I learned that I shouldn’t self-cater, for instance, because even though I can make food for a hundred people in two days, I probably shouldn’t. I learned how to delegate, a little, and I also learned that I’m not terribly good at letting go. I don’t think anyone is.

I learned that I have the best friends and family. Seriously. You may think yours are the best, but you’re wrong.

Most relevantly, I learned that I need deadlines. I think I’ve been dragging my feet on this dress project a little, inventing distractions (I really hope someone took a picture of that bunting, preferably before it got draped across me like a pageant sash), because if I finish my wedding dress in three months then it might not feel significant enough. This is, of course, my crazy brain talking — the same crazy brain that did elaborate and fictional math and decided to make enough food to feed myself and FH and probably our dogs for the rest of the year. Crazy Brain says it’s not really a wedding dress unless it takes at least a year and is literally laced with blood, sweat, and tears, but what Crazy Brain doesn’t know is that I can’t remove blood stains from white yarn. (The other two I could probably handle, but ew.) I can’t still be putting the finishing touches on this dress a week before the wedding. It’s time to kick this sucker into a higher gear and get it done by Christmas.

Hey, even if I blow that completely unrealistic deadline, I’ll still have 18 months before the wedding. Take that, Crazy Brain!

I did have some more Vogue Knitting patterns to share with you guys, but I was starting to have trouble coming up with witty commentary for them. Like, what more is there to say about these?

Really, I can’t improve on that. It’s just…perfect.

Or these:

They’re egg cozies. To keep your eggs warm. Perfect.

Til next time,

The Carpal Tunnel Bride

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