Episode 26: All the Bacon and Eggs You Have.

Knitters are fucking sexy.  –Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation)

I’ve had more than my fair share of great nights lately, but last night was more than a little bit of amazing. We heard Nick Offerman talk about his fantastic, hilarious marriage to Megan Mullally (they’re a boring couple: they sit around watching HGTV, doing jigsaw puzzles, and snorting piles of cocaine) and how impressed he would have been if a woman he was dating had knit the dress she was wearing. Immediately before the show we had gone to look at a reception venue that we both lo-o-ooooved, and I chose to take Offerman’s tenuously relevant comments as a sign.

You guys, this venue. I don’t know if venues are supposed to be like the dress, where you’re not supposed to show people pictures before the wedding. Frankly, I’m so over the moon in love with this place that I don’t give a shit. If you’re so inclined, you can check out some strangers’ wedding photos here. What’s hard to tell from those pictures is that the ceiling is very light blue and the walls are burgundy. The floor, which is unfinished at the moment, is going to be done by the end of the year — and they’re thinking about staining it green. That’s right, the venue is decking itself out in my exact fucking wedding colors. 

Actually, I just found a good picture:

I have a giant lady-boner for this place, if you couldn't tell.


It’s not completely perfect. It’s still under construction; they don’t have air conditioning and likely won’t by next June. There’s a chance we won’t be able to use Black Dog, our favorite restaurant who agreed to cater, because they don’t have a catering license. Our guests might pass out from the sheer awesomeness of the venue. But when the universe starts blasting a message through a megaphone, I fucking listen, and this one is coming through loud and clear.

Earlier this week, wedding planning was giving me ridiculous anxiety and making me feel like breaking a wall with my face. Now I’m refreshed, renewed, and secure in the knowledge that every time I work on my dress, I’ll hear Nick Offerman’s giggle in my head. Let’s fucking  do this.

3 responses

  1. Hey, I’m the photographer who shot that wedding you linked to. You are absolutely right. The venue is perfect. After shooting there I was wishing I could get married again just to use it! Anyways, funny blog and good luck with wedding planning. -Micah.

    • That is so great to hear! I’m so excited about this venue. Also, your photography is gorgeous — I’ve been drooling over your site all week 🙂

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